FORGIVING THE UNFORGIVABLE

 

BY: Godfrey Gregg 

The Journey Toward Freedom

Forgiveness might be the most challenging commandment we receive, especially when the wound runs deep. When someone has betrayed, abandoned, or deeply hurt us, forgiveness feels impossible—even unfair. Yet holding onto unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer.

Forgiveness isn't about excusing wrong behaviour or pretending the hurt didn't happen. It's not about reconciling with someone who remains unsafe or dangerous. Rather, forgiveness is the decision to release the person who hurt us from the debt we believe they owe, trusting that God is the ultimate judge and justice-giver.

The truth is, unforgiveness imprisons us more than the person who wronged us. Bitterness takes up residence in our hearts, affecting our health, relationships, joy, and spiritual growth. It keeps us tethered to the past, reliving the pain repeatedly, giving the offender continued power over our present and future.

Jesus modelled radical forgiveness even from the cross: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." He didn't wait for an apology or for the perpetrators to deserve mercy. He chose forgiveness as an act of love and obedience to the Father, knowing that this is the only path to freedom.

Forgiveness is rarely a single event—it's often a process. Some days we genuinely release the offence; other days the hurt resurfaces, and we must choose forgiveness again. This is normal. Each time we recommit to forgiveness, we loosen the grip of bitterness a bit more.

Practical steps can help: pray for the person who hurt you (even if you don't feel like it), surrender your right to revenge, acknowledge your own need for forgiveness, and if necessary, seek professional help to process trauma. Some wounds require more than spiritual discipline—they need therapeutic intervention.

Remember, forgiving others doesn't mean trusting them again immediately or removing healthy boundaries. Forgiveness is between you and God; trust must be rebuilt through demonstrated change.

If you're carrying the weight of unforgiveness today, consider this: what would it feel like to be free? You don't have to do this alone. Ask God for the strength to forgive, and trust that He will provide it, one day at a time.